I have been both a fulltime careerist and a fulltime homemaker. I was trained for the former. I remember times when
*I wished I had the equivalent of a “wife” so that when I got home from long hours at my job, someone would have dinner ready, my clothes clean for tomorrow, my babies home and taken care of, and my house clean. Instead this tired mom got home around 6 or 7, nursed a hungry baby, made dinner, ground baby food for the next day, cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry, repacked the diaper bag, bathed the baby, tried to spend “quality” time with her, and fell into bed exhausted for three hours sleep before baby’s next feeding. Everything repeated starting at 6:30 A.M.
*I wished that I could work (my job) during the late afternoon and evening when I was tired. Instead I gave my fresh hours to my job and then when I came home tired, I got to spend time with my husband and children. Even though it wasn’t an option, I knew that if I could give those tired hours to my job, I wouldn’t be able to excel there, nor to keep job security, nor to feel like I was giving my best. (No one cared that I wasn’t giving my best to my family…)
That feeling wasn’t there until I had babies; the young, childless me had energy after work!These were the kind of things that I pondered over and over during the ten years that I worked fulltime. I slowly realized that a woman couldn’t do it all, despite appearances. And it was exhausting trying to.
Most of my colleagues didn’t really try although they told themselves they did. They either didn’t have babies; put off having them until they had fertility problems; or succumbed to “the best” daycares, bottle fed babies, and often divorce. Their older children looked more to their peers for models than to any adult. Parents easily sighed that there wasn’t anything they could do: “you know how kids are.” And everyone, I mean everyone, agreed that once they became teenagers they would rebel despite anything that could be done.
Don was finishing his degree at the end of my working years, and we both wanted me home as soon as we could; we would make different decisions if we had it to do over again. Yet, finally home – what I wanted for so long – things were different. There were no accolades and no one respected the mom they way they did the PT. Absolutely no one made me feel that what I did behind closed doors mattered. It was tempting in the beginning to trade a job for civic and church responsibilities, and I did my share of that for a few years.
I wasn’t prepared to manage a household. I could do quite well with the hired servants paid for with my big salary (like the “servants” who did much of the cooking before I put it in the microwave, or the “servants” who made my bread, or the “servants” who washed our cars). In order to stay home on one salary (in a society designed for two), I needed to fire all the “servants” and learn to do all that work myself. Except that I was not trained to do that work and so was not efficient at it.
I quit working fulltime 16 years ago. I’ve learned so much since. When I made the decision to pursue a career (actually I don’t remember ever entertaining any other thought), I had never learned anything about feminism and its influence on women my age. I was totally ignorant of the changes in expectations for women during the 20th century and I was a sitting duck for going in the usual direction without any thought of the cost involved. I didn’t know the difference between a consumer household and a productive one. And, in my profound ignorance and arrogance, I truly thought that being a homemaker required no real intelligence or preparation.
In the ensuing years of learning, I have often thought I would love to write a book explaining about REAL homemaking. Most women really have no clue. I certainly didn’t. Those who are home often still farm out much of their job so that they still don’t really do anything meaningful.
Passionate Housewives is much of the book I wish I could have written. Certainly it is written much better than what I could have, but it embodies many of the things I have learned and feel passionately about. In addition, there were new nuggets of encouragement and conviction that pushed me forward. A few times in my life I have read a book that was so meaningful that I would like to buy a zillion copies and just give them out. This is one such book. I would love to hand this one to all the homemakers I know and all the non-homemakers who think I’m a bit crazy.
Touched on in this book is the scariest thing I have learned in the past 16 years: that socialism is partially premised on these feminist ideas. Early in the 20th century, the socialists wrote that what was needed was to get children from their earliest ages into the government education system and to get women out of the homes. A breakdown of family ties and education would prevent the transfer of Christian heritage and thought to the next generation, opening the way for socialistic thought. That battle wasn’t won on the battlefields of WW I or II, but it has been won since as we acquiesced of our own accord. A quick read of the Communist Manifesto is not shocking; it reads like a report on the United States. We now demand the government provide daycare, preschool education, medical benefits, salary if we are unemployed, and the list goes on.
A woman may no longer depend on her man, but she certainly depends on Uncle Sam… Chalk one up for socialism; it appears that our soldiers may have died in vain. But we are oblivious. What the socialists could not win militarily, they have won by patience and dogma. We’ve been the slowly boiling frog.I challenge women to get out of the boiling pot long enough to actually study their history. Take an honest look at the other side. Don’t jump to conclusions based on ignorance.
A good place to start is a Scriptural study on women starting in Genesis 1 and 2. A second place to start might be this book. It certainly is a good place to be if you are already a homemaker. It contains much wisdom mostly absent in our society. Well written by both authors, I highly recommend this read!
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Wednesday
Cindy Prechtel's Review
“You deserve a break!”
“Why should you have to do all the caring for the kids?”
“You’re wasting your life being a stay-at-home mom.”
These messages and others are the voices of feminism that seek to undermine God’s high calling of being a wife and mother. These messages, whether spoken or inferred can be discouraging - especi- ally for homeschool moms who are not only mothering, but committed to teaching reading and even chemistry if needed! It can be easy to fall into a “woe is me” attitude that breeds discontentment and selfishness.
In this refreshingly honest and down-to-earth book, two godly women sit down to put forth a fresh vision for homemaking. The message of ‘Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God’, is one of HOPE! The authors are real, and scattered through this convicting and encouraging book are stories and glimpses into their very real lives.
They are quick to dispel the “perfect housewife” myth. You know the one - the 1950s happy homemaker vacuuming in her high heels and pearls. Instead, they take the reader straight to the Word of God, for fresh insight and pearls of truth. Be prepared to be chal- lenged - I found myself switching between this book and my Bible, highlighter in hand!
Both of the authors have a lot to say and they say it quite well. The book begins and ends with the fictional account of the life of ‘Carol’. It is kind of a before-and-after glimpse of her life as she first gives in to the message of feminism that permeates our society (and sadly, the church), and then as a woman set free by God’s Word to be all that He created her to be - completely ful-filled in her service to Him by serving her family.
‘Passionate Housewives’ is not a politically correct book! The concept of dying to self, of living to serve your husband and children as unto the Lord, is not a popular ideology in our society. You may not agree with every doctrinal position these ladies and their husbands hold, but you will, however, be blessed with truths that transcend denominations - and timeless wisdom desperately needed in this day and age.
This is not a “how-to” book. You won’t find ideas for successful home management, or picking the right homeschool curriculum. Here’s something else you won’t find - authors who expect you to be just like them. Oh, they hold firmly to their beliefs about many things, but when it comes to what a “perfect” wife and mother should be, well, they are quick to remind you to lay aside those thoughts of perfectionism and to be wary of comparing yourself with others, including them!
This book addresses so many issues of the heart, it is difficult to describe the breadth of coverage and the amount of hope and encouragement one will find in its pages. As I read, I had many “Aha!” moments and there were definitely places where I was convicted of falling for the message that I am somehow “missing out” on life by serving my family.
I was challenged to realize that I can be home with my kids, but not really “be here” in my heart. I have found the really good books are the ones that do more than cheer (although this book definitely inspires). The books that I put at the top of my “must read again” list are those that make me a bit uncomfortable, that cause me to examine my heart and propel me into the arms of God. ‘Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” is one of those books. I highly recommend it!
—
Reviewed by Cindy Prechtel
“Why should you have to do all the caring for the kids?”
“You’re wasting your life being a stay-at-home mom.”
These messages and others are the voices of feminism that seek to undermine God’s high calling of being a wife and mother. These messages, whether spoken or inferred can be discouraging - especi- ally for homeschool moms who are not only mothering, but committed to teaching reading and even chemistry if needed! It can be easy to fall into a “woe is me” attitude that breeds discontentment and selfishness.
In this refreshingly honest and down-to-earth book, two godly women sit down to put forth a fresh vision for homemaking. The message of ‘Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God’, is one of HOPE! The authors are real, and scattered through this convicting and encouraging book are stories and glimpses into their very real lives.
They are quick to dispel the “perfect housewife” myth. You know the one - the 1950s happy homemaker vacuuming in her high heels and pearls. Instead, they take the reader straight to the Word of God, for fresh insight and pearls of truth. Be prepared to be chal- lenged - I found myself switching between this book and my Bible, highlighter in hand!
Both of the authors have a lot to say and they say it quite well. The book begins and ends with the fictional account of the life of ‘Carol’. It is kind of a before-and-after glimpse of her life as she first gives in to the message of feminism that permeates our society (and sadly, the church), and then as a woman set free by God’s Word to be all that He created her to be - completely ful-filled in her service to Him by serving her family.
‘Passionate Housewives’ is not a politically correct book! The concept of dying to self, of living to serve your husband and children as unto the Lord, is not a popular ideology in our society. You may not agree with every doctrinal position these ladies and their husbands hold, but you will, however, be blessed with truths that transcend denominations - and timeless wisdom desperately needed in this day and age.
This is not a “how-to” book. You won’t find ideas for successful home management, or picking the right homeschool curriculum. Here’s something else you won’t find - authors who expect you to be just like them. Oh, they hold firmly to their beliefs about many things, but when it comes to what a “perfect” wife and mother should be, well, they are quick to remind you to lay aside those thoughts of perfectionism and to be wary of comparing yourself with others, including them!
This book addresses so many issues of the heart, it is difficult to describe the breadth of coverage and the amount of hope and encouragement one will find in its pages. As I read, I had many “Aha!” moments and there were definitely places where I was convicted of falling for the message that I am somehow “missing out” on life by serving my family.
I was challenged to realize that I can be home with my kids, but not really “be here” in my heart. I have found the really good books are the ones that do more than cheer (although this book definitely inspires). The books that I put at the top of my “must read again” list are those that make me a bit uncomfortable, that cause me to examine my heart and propel me into the arms of God. ‘Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” is one of those books. I highly recommend it!
—
Reviewed by Cindy Prechtel
Saturday
Mrs. Paige Patterson Endorses Passionate Housewives Desperate for God!
“The biblical paradigm for womanhood is marked by clear, though often hidden, distinctives. Especially are these noted in the Proverbs 31 description of the ‘woman of strength.’ PASSIONATE HOUSEWIVES DESPERATE FOR GOD provides the bookends for the life of this remarkable woman—on the one hand, she is passionate, enthusiastic about everything to which she puts her hand, even the most mundane tasks in her home; on the other hand, she is totally committed to what God wants her to be and to do without being swayed by culture or peers.
She makes no apology about devoting her foremost energies and greatest creativity to her own family and household, and in so doing she is confident of offering her best and most precious gift to the Lord! Give us passionate women who are desperate for God, and we will change the world!” - Dorothy Patterson, wife of Paige Patterson, president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
Monday
A review from a truly passionate housewife!
Only moments ago I finished devouring your book, “Passionate Housewives Desperate for God.“ And I must thank you from the very bottom of my heart for allowing the Lord to use you ladies in my life. I am so refreshed, my vision renewed, my heart re-awakened!
I was raised in a Christian home, home schooled through high school and had only the desire for marriage and raising a family. I stayed in my parent’s home under my father’s authority until I was 21 when my husband and I married. My heart’s desire was to glorify the Lord in everything I did. We now have four sons ages 6, 5, 3 & 2 and are awaiting the adoption of our first daughter.
Until only recently, I have always found complete fulfillment in serving my family.
Yet slowly the “me first” mentality began to creep into my heart. I began to feel left out as I watched other women having “mommy day’s out.” I began to focus my entire attention on how TIRED I was, how I never slept, never got more than 3 minutes of Bible study before I had a child decide that he needed some Tylenol on his OWN, or a good shower…in the TOILET! I began to despair; something was terribly wrong with me and it must be because I wasn’t getting time off at least every other day.
Homeschooling had always been my hearts desire, my dream, yet I was beginning to feel bitter at those school buses I passed on the roads, wondering why they couldn’t help me out of some of my duties, so that I could spend more time on the things I enjoyed.
One day I snapped, I had finally had enough of head to head battle with a three-year-old who was claiming that if he died I wouldn’t care. I was drained to say the least; my heart was so wrapped up in ME that I couldn’t see my hurting babies.
I couldn’t see that any and all behavior was simply them begging for my attentions to be less self-centered and more servant-like. In fact, I was so far focused on myself that I walked into the store where I had worked part-time before my husband and I married and had kids and stood at the counter, just battling inside the deep rooted desire to ask for my job back. My deep convictions held me back from asking, but the fact that I was willing to stand there and consider it scared me.
For years I have lamented that I wished somebody would write a Biblical book, with practical advice on the issues that moms such as myself face.
When I saw this book appear on the Vision Forum website I ordered instantly, only to get an e-mail saying it was on back order and could take three weeks to ship. I actually cried over that e-mail, and cried out to the Lord for the strength to carry on. Do you know that your book arrived on my door step only two days later, the Lord knew how deeply I needed the sound Biblical advice that He used you to convey to my heart.
As I read each page, my heart soared, (especially in the weary women chapter). I was reminded of the beauty of the Biblical truth that I was turning my back on. I realized the mending that needed to take place in my relationships with my sons, and the heartfelt apology that my husband deserved to which he forgave instantly. I still have a dramatic three-year-old. I still struggle moments of selfishness.
However, my heart is restored. The heart to serve my Lord by serving my husband, my children, and those we come into contact with. I am not spinning and toiling in my heart, but rejoicing. In the beginning of the book, I related on a few levels with “Carolyn” in the first portion; and by the end of the book I completely related with her final story of joy in the Lord in the midst of keeping her home.
This is the very first book on motherhood/marriage that I have ever read without feeling like a failure, condemned and under the pile. Quite the opposite, and because of that, and the Biblical truth within the cover, I am sharing it with everybody I know.
If I could I would hug both of you and cry on your shoulders; because by being willing to allow the Lord to use you to write this book, you have been a part of restoring my ministry, my calling, my joy. I do not have to be perfect. I am covered by grace to complete this incredible task at hand: to raise up four godly young men to be servants for the Kingdom, and someday, I pray, a daughter who will be a helper to her own husband.
From the bottom of our hearts, both my husband and I thank you.
Chris and Jasmine
I was raised in a Christian home, home schooled through high school and had only the desire for marriage and raising a family. I stayed in my parent’s home under my father’s authority until I was 21 when my husband and I married. My heart’s desire was to glorify the Lord in everything I did. We now have four sons ages 6, 5, 3 & 2 and are awaiting the adoption of our first daughter.
Until only recently, I have always found complete fulfillment in serving my family.
Yet slowly the “me first” mentality began to creep into my heart. I began to feel left out as I watched other women having “mommy day’s out.” I began to focus my entire attention on how TIRED I was, how I never slept, never got more than 3 minutes of Bible study before I had a child decide that he needed some Tylenol on his OWN, or a good shower…in the TOILET! I began to despair; something was terribly wrong with me and it must be because I wasn’t getting time off at least every other day.
Homeschooling had always been my hearts desire, my dream, yet I was beginning to feel bitter at those school buses I passed on the roads, wondering why they couldn’t help me out of some of my duties, so that I could spend more time on the things I enjoyed.
One day I snapped, I had finally had enough of head to head battle with a three-year-old who was claiming that if he died I wouldn’t care. I was drained to say the least; my heart was so wrapped up in ME that I couldn’t see my hurting babies.
I couldn’t see that any and all behavior was simply them begging for my attentions to be less self-centered and more servant-like. In fact, I was so far focused on myself that I walked into the store where I had worked part-time before my husband and I married and had kids and stood at the counter, just battling inside the deep rooted desire to ask for my job back. My deep convictions held me back from asking, but the fact that I was willing to stand there and consider it scared me.
For years I have lamented that I wished somebody would write a Biblical book, with practical advice on the issues that moms such as myself face.
When I saw this book appear on the Vision Forum website I ordered instantly, only to get an e-mail saying it was on back order and could take three weeks to ship. I actually cried over that e-mail, and cried out to the Lord for the strength to carry on. Do you know that your book arrived on my door step only two days later, the Lord knew how deeply I needed the sound Biblical advice that He used you to convey to my heart.
As I read each page, my heart soared, (especially in the weary women chapter). I was reminded of the beauty of the Biblical truth that I was turning my back on. I realized the mending that needed to take place in my relationships with my sons, and the heartfelt apology that my husband deserved to which he forgave instantly. I still have a dramatic three-year-old. I still struggle moments of selfishness.
However, my heart is restored. The heart to serve my Lord by serving my husband, my children, and those we come into contact with. I am not spinning and toiling in my heart, but rejoicing. In the beginning of the book, I related on a few levels with “Carolyn” in the first portion; and by the end of the book I completely related with her final story of joy in the Lord in the midst of keeping her home.
This is the very first book on motherhood/marriage that I have ever read without feeling like a failure, condemned and under the pile. Quite the opposite, and because of that, and the Biblical truth within the cover, I am sharing it with everybody I know.
If I could I would hug both of you and cry on your shoulders; because by being willing to allow the Lord to use you to write this book, you have been a part of restoring my ministry, my calling, my joy. I do not have to be perfect. I am covered by grace to complete this incredible task at hand: to raise up four godly young men to be servants for the Kingdom, and someday, I pray, a daughter who will be a helper to her own husband.
From the bottom of our hearts, both my husband and I thank you.
Chris and Jasmine
Saturday
Upcoming Radio Interviews
On Thursday, Jennie and Stacy had the opportunity to discuss their new book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God with Nancy Leigh Demoss on her radio program Revive our Hearts Ministries. We'll keep you updated on when the shows will air!
The previous day they were guests on Family Life Today's program with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine. What a gracious and hospitable group! They had a wonderful time and were made to feel very welcome!
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